I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I should be sponsored by Trojan
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
When are your genitals available?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
