Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
