Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
