"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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