i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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