I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
