is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
