im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
