and i looked up. we had an audience...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
