I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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