I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We talked him into tasing himself.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
