that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm passing your future prison.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
