Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
