I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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