your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
