Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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