Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
