I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Boobs are out for the taking
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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