i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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