Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
