Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
