HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
