i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
