Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
high people should be assigned attendants
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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