just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
