do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
