When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
