i will never coherently bang her
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
