just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize