OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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