Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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