he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
