I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
