She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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