one word: firstdatebathroomanal
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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