btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
