If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So vagazzling was a success
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
