sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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