woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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