i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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