i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
