i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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