Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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