I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
