College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
