I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
