i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize