This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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