My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
