You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
