I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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