Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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