It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
