Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Two words: blizzard sex
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
