there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize