next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
