You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
