didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
