We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I can't put those talents on a resume
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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