There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
ttyl tear gas
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
last night I used snow as a chaser
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
