Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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